fun fact: the only thing standing between you and success is a small, angry gnome which has dedicated its whole existence to ruining you. you must not let it win
“british sense of humor” isnt a thing yall just arent funny lmfaooooo
Lol Americans
Americans have literally no banter
why did u colonize 90% of the world
lol idk Just seemed less barbaric than slaughtering millions of native americans, robbing their land, claiming it as my own and buying human beings from across the Atlantic to build my country :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)))))))))))))
Me saying bye to my dog:
Goodbye, I love you!!! Make good choices today. Don't forget that you're the most beautiful dog that has ever walked this earth. I'll be thinking of you all day!
*Middle-Earth liberal voice* say what you will about Sauron, but you have to admit that he’s a job creator and has brought his country back from a devastating economic collapse and restored industry to the area…he’s not perfect, of course, but as far as Dark Lords go we could do a lot worse
200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks, but if you try to carry 200 pounds of feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
I love when something breaks on tumblr and my dash erupts into a furious storm of shitposting about said broken feature. Its like when you watch a dude in a movie get lowered into a tank of piranhas and the water immediately erupts into wild frothing for a few minutes before the skeleton bobs to the surface
WE’LL PROBABLY END UP REBLOGGING SOME TRASH THAT HAD LIKE 20 NOTES
Maybe that was the plan all along
It really does make me think about how I reblog. I keep looking for the notes, is it because I only reblog things that enough other people also approve of? This Twitch Plays Pokemon level of social experiment and I’m glad I stayed up past midnight to observe it.
okay but does anyone else check people out artistically? like instead of thinking “wow I’d tap that” you just intensely appreciate their appearance and sit there and “holy shit look at the curve of their spine and that POSTURE but then there’s the shape of their eyes and THEIR HANDS AND -” *snaps pencil in half*
