ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum
i have 15 years’ worth of outstanding library fines in three separate cities and it’s my hope that eventually a bounty hunter librarian will come to collect and we’ll get in a bar fight and fall in love
I also can’t rent movies in two different towns so there’s that.
I’m newly terrified by the implication that librarians aren’t people and I’ve misjudged what exactly I’m up against
what? you once thought librarians were mere humans? you poor mortal.
