I was going to go for a run but big brown eyes, perked ears, tilted heads, and wagging tails convinced me it should be a pack walk instead.

I’m a sucker for head tilts. ;-;

plushestrumpest:

kvotheunkvothe:

pumpkinappearifier:

DnD is a serious game.

Once my party turned me into a golden dragon to battle a balor. I died in a single round when the monster’s vorpal blade critted on me. What a fucking night.

One time I played a Fey-Ri who was best friends with a monk and they were both lawful good. So the monk convinces my character to run headfirst into a hoard of goblins and bugbears. A level one arrow decapitated me. Consumed by guilt at having gotten me killed, the monk soured and started lying, cheating, stealing, and gambling. He exploited my next character’s ambiguous sexuality to continuously steal all the bacon.

“Weaponized aerosol werewolf grenade”

(Source: 3947698437659656739)

• Coworker: Wow you seem really peppy today!
• Me: Really? Well don't worry, I'll be back to my usual bitter self in an hour or so.
• Coworker: I wouldn't say you're bitter, just... pessimistic!
• Me: Is that... better???

scjacka:

Speaking of amazing fictional ladies

Girl crush #253

(Source: apricotedits)

punziella:

🍎🍎🍎

I just die every time she posts art, it’s all so adorable and pastry soft. ;o;

DILFs Of Disneyland Is The Instagram Account You've Actually Been Waiting For    >>

proudblackconservative:

It’s about time.

Oh goody, another site that’s always blathering about “feminism” and the evils of objectifying women, objectifying men! Nothing new to see here folks, just another day as a liberal. Seriously, can you IMAGINE how Tumblr would react if there were an Instagram account snapping creepy photos of women minding their own business so that total strangers could drool over how hot they are? 

“I know this seems creepy… but it’s actually a celebration!”

UUUUUH… NO???

I’m going to die from 2nd hand smoke, I swear I cannot go anywhere here to escape that cancer gas. Smokers everywhere on campus breaking smoking zone rules, vapor suckers in buildings not caring that YES IT STILL CARRIES TOXINS, and oh I’m going to open my bedroom window get some fresh air–NOPE cigar smoke from golfers on the green behind my house.

At least I can immediately tell who is stupid without speaking to them.

45-70govt:

Red Dawn showing the use of a gun registry for confiscation during occupation. 

This movie made me who I am today.

whoslosing:

this is fucking hilarious

Is this Attack on Titan?

metallickah:

unrealthings:

batreaux:

this is my linen closet, *shows you some towels*
and this is my lenin closet *shows you communist propaganda*

#Bed Bath and Bolsheviks

#communism works on paper but not on tile or marble

Fun Fact: We have an actual closet of Soviet propaganda from my mom’s college trip.