Every now and then I’m minding my own business and I remember the strangest drink I’ve ever served someone. They wanted a caramel apple spice… with two shots of espresso. That’s steamed apple juice. With cinnamon dolce syrup. Whipped cream. And espresso. And she acted like it was perfectly normal. I wonder how she’s doing, is she okay? Did her spaceship ever come pick her up??

So, I keep getting guests and coworkers asking me what is a “green and white tea.” It sounds like one of those stupid secret menu crap things but no, Starbucks just sent us a menu board that reads like this:

Black tea
Herbal tea
Green and White tea

So everyone keeps trying to order a “green and white tea.”

So the Starbucks online store is a goldmine of intelligence.

(Source: store.starbucks.com)

Work today. 8) 8) 8) 8)

When someone hates you so much they take it out on the pastries then run out of the building. Like she just wasted over $50 worth of food then left me to clean it up. If the Lord is merciful then the camera caught it all. Best part is my next four shifts are with her!!

At work I needed to calibrate the coffee grinder, so I put it at the finest setting possible and ground some beans to make sure it reached a soft, baby powder texture.  It should clump easily, feel soft, etc.

I wound up just grinding coffee and playing with it like moon sand and threatening my coworker with coffee snowballs.

PSA about cup sizes at Sbux

We don’t care. Don’t say “tallest,” don’t snap at people for getting cup sizes names mixed up. If you don’t like the name system or it confuses you, just say small-medium-large. We understand! It’s not a foreign language! We won’t make fun of you!

I’m just really tired of throwing cups away because you order the wrong size!

Thank you. ♡

Story Time

Once upon a time a jackass came to my Sbux. He ordered a tall mocha BUT IT MUST BE 190 DEGREES because if IT’S TWO DEGREES TOO COOL HE’LL COME BACK. So this mischievous barista began to wonder and nodded along as she steamed the jackass drink and the jackass ranted how he didn’t care if he got stomach cancer, his mocha MUST BE 190 DEGREES. This barista politely informed the jackass that it was not so much the potential cancer that made some baristas not steam the mocha to 190 DEGREES but because at around 175 the milk expands, boils, and begins to explode. If it overflows, as it almost always does over 180 degrees, then it can cause serious injury to the barista.
The jackass stared, blinked, then continued his rant about not caring about stomach cancer, his mocha MUST BE 190 DEGREES.
The mischievous barista cut the temperature at 175, finished the mocha with generous stirring and whipped cream, and handed it over to the jackass with a smile. Feeling as if he’d won, the jackass took his mocha and drank half of it in the store before leaving.

Not once did he say a word.

Moral of the story: pretentious jackasses who knowingly order drinks that are dangerous to their preparer’s health genuinely can’t tell the difference. They just need to feel as if they’re getting their way. Don’t risk your health and safety for a jackass’s drink when he can’t tell the damn difference.

Question about the Sbux Cold Brew coffee…

Starbucks partners,

Can someone give me a real reason why we can’t serve the cold brew concentrate without water?

I work in a Target Sbux and the only info we got was saying we couldn’t serve no water cold brew because nutritional information regarding caffeine content, but we can add extra shots of espresso to anything, changing caffeine content. You can add pretty much anything to any drink and it adjusts the nutritional content, and customers understand that “risk”. So why is that the reason?

Is there another, legitimate reason?

I looked online and saw partners suggesting it was so we didn’t run out, or because it’s not meant to be served that way (like refresher juice), or even it will make you sick.

I work in an area with very… uhh… obnoxiously inquisitive/paranoid customers. So I really want a more viable reason than “corporate said no” to head off the more… uh… sensitive customers.

Anyone able to offer better logic?

So I had a customer try to convince me today that some Starbucks sell Pumpkin Spice Lattes year round.
????? What?????
We got our last shipment in December and I’m pretty sure it all expired in February. I tried to explain this to her and she argued with me that “SOME” Starbucks sell them year round, then she tries to lean around my register as if looking for it.
As if I was trying to keep it from her.

I’m going to lose my mind if I have to keep serving these kinds of people for much longer.