I remember this one time in high school I was leading the girls’ track team exercises and none of the girls wanted to do push-ups.  They were complaining that they didn’t want to get buff and ugly, so I told them that if they did more push-ups it would build up their pectoral muscles which would give their breasts more lift and cleavage.

I’ve never seen a group of girls do so many push-ups in my life.

Ran into my favorite hobo today.  He said that he’s staying safe, getting enough to eat, and has narrowly dodged the government hit men after him a few times since I last saw him.

I asked him if he needed any more money today to get food and he said he was fine, but thank you anyway.

I’m proofreading my brother’s research paper for him… and he writes like how politicians speak.  Grandiose, over exaggerated, and full of buzzwords and BS without sources.

For a story I’m writing, I’m crafting a character named Felicity.  She’s the spirit of a fox haunting her tail that was turned into a key chain.  I liked her, but then I decided to make her a sassy southern belle kind of gal, and now I adore her.

Bless her (dead) heart.

A group of wild cats is known as a destruction.  A destruction of wild cats.

Today...

• Brother: So, Ash, what did you do today?
• Me: Well, I went for a walk with the dog, spent some time on the internet, went shopping, ate lunch at that Vietnamese restaurant, spent some more time on the internet, vacuumed the house, spent more time on the internet, cooked you dinner, and cleaned the bathroom.
• Brother: All on your own?
• Me: Well... there were the dogs... and I tried to talk to the waitress...
• Brother:
• Me:
• Brother: We need to get you a video game so you can have a life again.

I’m applying for a job at Target and part of their survey asked me, “The percentage of politicians I think are honest is…”

pfffft…

None, absolutely none.

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Made my First Etsy Sale!!

I could gladly be content doing nothing but drawing foxes for all eternity, but I have to go to work, wah.