For anyone who notices, I’m unfollowing a lot of people right now. For the majority of them, I actually enjoy the blog or the artwork, but my mental health is not in a good place right now and too many blogs are sharing content that is negatively effecting me. There are just too many topics right now that are getting ugly, from doxxing to insults to threats to the usual media fair, I just can’t observe it in a healthy way anymore. There’s a chance I might follow those blogs in the future, when I’m healthy and things have quieted down, but not now.
Showing posts tagged with “depression”
Things that I miss (in no particular order):
- No one criticizing me for my schedule
- My purple/pink/whatever colored hair streak
- Seeing the person I love every other day
- Solitude without questions
Things that I don’t miss (in no particular order):
- Feeling inept
- Dying my hair every weekend
- Worrying someone notice me with the one I love
- Being alone while I lie on the floor in anxiety
And incidentally all those things happened in the same period of my life.
“The 100th Bout”
#marker and #pen
Current mood. Needs more #mushrooms. My drawing prof called it morbidly whimsical and a guy in the class asked how I could do such a terrible thing to such a pretty girl! Pfft…
#artistsonInstagram #art #depression
A writer for the new york times interviewed a series of people who had survived jumping off the golden gate bridge. Every person she interviewed admitted that about two thirds of the way down, they realized that every seemingly meaningless problem that caused them to jump was fixable.
Every single one.
THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT
“But to me, the more significant fact is that 90 percent of them got past it. They were having an acute temporary crisis, they passed through it and, coming out the other side, they got on with their lives.”
In Seiden’s view, a crucial factor in this boils down to the issue of time. In the case of people who attempt suicide impulsively, cutting off or slowing down their means to act allows time for the impulse to pass — perhaps even blocks the impulse from being triggered to begin with. What is remarkable, though, is that it appears that the same holds true for the nonimpulsive, with people who may have been contemplating the act for days or weeks.
“At the risk of stating the obvious,” Seiden said, “people who attempt suicide aren’t thinking clearly. They might have a Plan A, but there’s no Plan B. They get fixated. They don’t say, ‘Well, I can’t jump, so now I’m going to go shoot myself.’ And that fixation extends to whatever method they’ve chosen. They decide they’re going to jump off a particular spot on a particular bridge, or maybe they decide that when they get there, but if they discover the bridge is closed for renovations or the railing is higher than they thought, most of them don’t look around for another place to do it. They just retreat.”
The Urge to End it All by Scott Anderson
(Source: waste-it-dreaming-blog)
It’s a pretty intense feeling when you’re standing in line behind someone at the supermarket, watching them laugh with their baby, then catch the unmistakable rows of white scars up and down their forearms.
dating me means dating my anxiety and my random spouts of depression it means dating my panic attacks at 11pm or 2 am or 5am or anytime of the day for that matter it means dating my mood swings where i get really upset over everything about me and all my insecurities and how i’m not good enough because i’m never good enough
dating me means that i know how you feel when you don’t feel good enough because i don’t either it means that when you call with a panic attack at 11pm or 2 am or 5am or anytime of the day it matters because i called you last thursday and the tuesday before that it means dating my mood swings too but you know we swing together it means dating my depression too and knowing that i understand i understand and i’ll be patient with you because i understand
(Source: ewpeanutbutter-blog)
Untitled (Because You Don’t Have to Know)
I cried in bed last night
Nikki asked me about it today, she saw the pictures online.
Everyone did.
That’s why the Board of Human Equalization posts them,
They think they can save us from our nightmares
And suicides
If the world only saw our pain.
Randomly taken pictures of us while we lay in bed,
On the internet to see.
The Community will keep you safe with their judgment.
Still, my mom made a flawless noose,
(Nikki’s did, too)
Don next door jumped from his roof,
(Emma did, too)
And as the Community tries to save me,
I want to smash that camera above my bed
And proclaim freedom to feel
To have a moment of weakness
And to ask God alone for help.
The eyes that always see,
The mouths that always question,
Are only trying to avoid
What their heads always think
What their hearts always feel
Because this Community
Is dying to help.
I don’t think I’ve ever cried and laughed so hard at the same time.
Whether you’re suffering from depression or not, know someone who is or not, think you understand it or don’t, you should read this. It is enlightening and entertaining. Enlightertaining.