friends: what do you want to do?
my brain: die
me @ my brain: we can’t say that. these people don’t understand casual existential despair
The customer is always right, but you aren’t a customer until you’ve made a purchase, most complaints are from non-customers
are you an ocean or forest person? are you an ice cream or slushie person? are you a sunrise or sunset person?
Just let the Ghoul enjoy his damn noodles, man..
My dad is absolutely obsessed with Pitch Perfect 2. He’s watched it five times.
My dad is a 6'5" lt col in the USMC.
He sits down and watches Pitch Perfect 2 shamelessly.
Anonymous asked: Now that 'she' is the nominee I have to vote trump, sorry
Now that my neighbors went to Olive Garden for shitty food, I have to go to Applebees for slightly better atmosphere but albeit still shitty food.
scottishwinds asked: one of my favorite posts on this website says something like "wake me up when bernie is president" - pal ur never waking up!!!!!!
(can’t wake up)