by the time you’re in college, the “nice to your face but mocking you behind your back” act is extremely high school like
what are you even doing with your life
Christ, I remember getting into college thinking “Finally no more middle-school bullshit.” Still the thing was there. Fortunately not nearly as unavoidable. And once I became more and more efficient at weeding it out of my life I can say I’ve been largely without it these past 10 years.
I work with people in their upper 20s and 30s, it’s still there. Unfortunately unavoidable.
I was at my friend’s engagement party yesterday and everyone was about to do cheers with these nasty ass shots of blue tequila but I don’t drink and I especially do not drink tequila, blue or otherwise, so I grabbed a piece of bread from the basket on the table and just tapped it against people’s glasses like it was a legitimate beverage instead of a wheat byproduct
and one of my friends was like ‘ho what in god’s name are you doing’
and I didn’t know how to say I would rather slice of my own foot than drink tequila so I just held my bread up and said ‘I’m toasting’
and in that moment I felt my soul descend directly into the eighteenth circle of hell
me: [internal monologue] Do I tell him? No, I shouldn’t. I don’t know why I feel so eager to tell him his dog is the asthmatic inbred result of Man playing god
i specifically chose animals that are (or believed to be) extinct due to human influence: thylacine, great auk, baiji, west african black rhino, golden toad, dodo, passenger pigeon, and quagga. there are many other species i could have included. the plants are also based on extinct species, but i found much less information about extinct plants, unfortunately.
the text doesn’t necessarily relate to each animal or their extinction. it’s all basically the same idea: let’s all be nice to each other, because today, the universe is vast and incomprehensible, we are all suffering, we are all going to die, and we’re all in this together. for today.
i’m busy for a couple weeks with conventions, but after that i’m considering a companion series with ancient extinct animals, so feel free to send me your favorites :)
So, keep in mind I’m very sick right now so my brain is kinda addled and I haven’t even bothered to look up whether or not a theory like this is already floating around the internet. It probably is, and others have probably explained it far better than I, but that’s okay! It doesn’t hurt to rant about my fun vague (VERY VAGUE) thoughts anyway, right? Also, if anything I’ve said is wrong, please correct me!! Well… here I go!!
Theory: Qunari blood is the key to curing the taint and the Calling.
The only known person to become cured of being a grey warden is Fiona - an elf, who fucked our good old King Maric. Maric’s ancestor - King Calenhad - drank the blood of a high dragon (after being told to by a certain someone), and their entire bloodline now seems to carry the power of that dragon blood. When Fiona and Maric did the THING, she became pregnant, and was somehow cured of being a warden and no one understands how because this has never happened before so everyone was like what the fuck Fiona and she was like geez whatever.
It stands to potentially reason that somehow having the taint AND a dragon blood fetus somehow didn’t mesh well. We know from Morrigan’s ritual, fetuses are pretty capable of absorbing heavy magic shit. And that was a tainted fetus absorbing an old god’s soul. This, on the other hand, would be a fetus created with dragon blood; I’d say there’s a decent chance that has the power to absorb the taint, and the dragon blood somehow cancel it out or something, idfk, this is all fun speculation.
Regardless of your Inquisitor’s race, The Iron Bull tells you (when you meet him for drinks after slaying your first dragon together) that HIS theory on his own race is that the Qunari may have some dragon blood in them, mixed in somewhere along the line by the Tamassrans who control all breeding amongst Qunari.
As a Qunari Inquisitor, you learn through interactions with Kieran and Corypheus that your blood “does not belong to your people,” and that your race, as a whole, was a “mistake.” Kieran says that he “recognizes your blood.” The boy, when he says this, has the soul of an Archdemon - an old god/ dragon, rather. Is it possible that the dragon in him can recognize the dragon blood in others? Now, Corypheus’ remark - that “your race is not a race. It is a mistake.” - comes alongside the comment “What do they call you? A Qunari?” This implies heavily that the Qunari did not exist at the time when Corypheus was still a human magister, yet he does know of their existence, as a mistake; an experiment - created possibly for some greater purpose?
I need to do some research on the timeline to flesh the WHEN out a little, because I’m bad with history in terms of specific ages (help, anyone?), but it seems as though the Qunari may have been created - dragon blood mixed with Elvhen blood - and that such an experiment may have happened in Ancient Tevinter, It certainly wouldn’t be the first time Tevinters used Elvhen blood in their creepy ass experiments, am I right? There are codex entries detailing experiments on Elvhen slaves, such as the one (found in the Fade, I believe) about Corypheus hiimself using the blood of elves for his greatest feat, or something along those lines. This theory that the blood of dragons and elves were used to create Qunari is not really new amongst fans - but what was the purpose? Could it possibly have been to find an antidote for the taint?
Most importantly: No Qunari (as far as I know, and plEASE correct me if I’m wrong so I can just shut this down completely and stop making a fool of myself) has ever been a Grey Warden. Similarly, there is absolutely no record of any Qunari having the taint in any form. Ever.
So, my conclusion: Becoming impregnated with a Qunari fetus might cure people of the taint. Maybe (hopefully) not just fetuses though. Maybe just the blood alone, somehow might work. Drinking the blood? Fusing it with magic somehow? Idk. But, either way, Qunari could possibly have been created initially for that purpose exactly, and they may potentially become essential to curing the taint and stopping the Calling (which is what your Warden is currently on a mission to do. They wouldn’t make that a point in Inquisition, AND bring up all this Qunari blood stuff if they weren’t eventually gonna be important. Or… maybe they would, but speculation is still fun).
Anyway, I’ve seen several people speculating vaguely about Alistair’s blood in particular being a cure to the taint, but I’m just jumping right past that and wondering - what if the Qunari can cure the taint as a whole race? What if they were even created FOR the purpose of curing the taint? I don’t know. And hey, maybe I’m starting to get really carried away. But it sure is fun to think about anyway. Thanks for reading my mumbo-jumbo!
have you seen this panel from the comics ?
Wow, this is a really cool theory!
Here’s some other things to consider:
1.) Physiologically, Qunari do share some traits with elves. They’re the only other species we’ve seen with pointed ears, but they also share the same flat faces that elves have had since DA2.
2.) Elves being more susceptible to the Qun makes more sense now. They’re not just jaded, there might be some sort of spiritual connection there.
3.) This Bioware Forum discussion talks about a War Table mission i DA:I where you find out that dragon’s blood is resistant to Darkspawn taint.
4.) If dragon’s blood makes Qunari immune to Blight, that might explain why they’re immune to the myriad of poisons used in their vitaars.
5.) Iron Bull theorizes that the Qunari left their homeland to flee the Kossith. Kossith have been described as both pre-Qun Qunari, and also not looking like the modern Qunari. It’s possible they are more closely related to dragons than elves. The reason I say this is because the Qunari have a strange relationship with dragons; they think they need to be eradicated because they are chaotic destruction, but they also marvel them. Heck, loved ones split a dragon’s tooth as a sort of token of affection. The Qunari also revere any Qunari born without horns, seeing them as special and intimidating. Putting all that together tells me the Qunari subconsciously value those of them that appear more elvish and less draconic, like there’s some sort of buried recognition and revulsion of their tainted selves. Why else would they follow a religion that makes them into cogs of a machine? They don’t trust themselves with freedom.
Some maybe holes in your theory:
1.) Qunari women can still be made into broodmothers, thus creating ogres. If they’re totally immune, wouldn’t that make them useless as broodmothers?
2.) There are in-game rumors of Tal-Vashoth becoming Grey Wardens, no documented proof you’re right, but rumors.
Anyway, just some thoughts on the matter! Smart work, @kinkyfenris!
