cracked-dot-com-official

The Teens!™ will love this Fuckening Epic® reinterpretation of the freshest love story of all time written in only the hippset, coolest, contemporariest lingo of The Teens!™ today! Woo! Party like it’s 1999!

dimittas

I’m going to vomit

weileash

So this is what we’ve been reduced to